My darling little girl was born a short while ago. Obviously being my first child I knew she was going to change my life but I was not prepared for how. I had heard stories of sleepless nights and changing diapers constantly that I was ready for. What I was not ready for how many people felt they had a right to my time! Our time!
Space is what a new mother at least this new mother wanted and it was in short supply. When I can out of the hospital I was disorientated and just not myself. Overbearing people in my life took that opportunity to get their foot into my life.
After years of treating me like garbage my mother-in-law decided "she loved me" she came to the hospital just hours after I gave birth (she will not be allowed this privilege next time) proceeded to make close members of my family feel out of place and stayed two hours when I was exhausted and had the nerve to tell me she loved me (now that I have reproduced all of a sudden she fond of me hypocritical much). The problem did not end there my baby had a few kinks to work out such as a tongue tie, reflux disease and other minor health scares. People felt they especially my Mother in law felt that they now had input on how we made decisions about our life and that our little girl.
Having a child is a very personal thing they are your legacy. However from the moment you give birth your child is everyone's business. When my daughter started refluxing people said you are starving her (my milk production is actually abnormally large), perhaps it is your diet, maybe she is allergic to your pets (impossible at that age by the way), feed her pablum breast milk is not enough, she must be allergic to your milk the list goes on! It took twenty visits to the Pediatricians office to find a medication and a dosage that worked.
I was struggling with breastfeeding due to her tongue tie and torticollis and I was to exhausted and worried to realize that the chiropractor I was referred to was prolonging the treatment to line her pockets. I was trusting the instincts of others and not mine. After a life of being self-assured I was all of a sudden trusting the judgement of others over my own and so was my husband. I was a meat head dead from neck up! A sleep deprived zombie following orders. It seemed whenever the baby fell asleep and I closed my eyes to rest and recover the phone with ring with someone asking me if the baby had latched yet.
My Mother in Law was calling twice a day at some points I had no urge to talk to her. My mother became extremely irritating calling me with advice from she got from the people she discussed my problems with. My Grandmother (whom I love so much) would call me as if her world was falling apart because my baby had issues. It was hard enough to deal with my life without the phone ringing constantly!
I had one good friend who actually let me be and even help rock the inconsolable baby and that is why he will be the godfather of my child. I also had a lot of support from facebook friends I went to high school with. The most touching support was from a friend who had very wonderful little girl who was very ill. I guess she understood what it felt like to not know what was wrong and have a baby crying inconsolably.
The most surprising things about motherhood was the automatic club membership you get. All of a sudden you have so many people who want to help you. I have regained my life and I love motherhood so much and waking up from the haze and taking the reins to my life back was the most rewarding yet most challenging part so far! I thought late night feeding would be the challenging part guess I was wrong!
